PARADOX: WALKING A FINE LINE

How do we make sense of the need to be at peace or rest and the seemingly opposite desire to be on a continuous quest for new horizons?  Some people settle for a simplified either/or answer to this tension, e.g.  defining people as either “pioneers” or “settlers.”   A fairly recent development approaches this issue by using an idea known as Dialectical Wisdom (not to be confused with the Dialectical Materialism of Marx and Engels).  The leaders in this concept are a diverse group of scholars attempting to integrate the fields of psychology and theology.  A helpful starting place comes from a book I highly recommend by F. LeRon Shults and Steven J. Sandage titled Transforming Spirituality: Integrating Theology and Psychology.  The brief comments that follow are indebted to these authors.

Human beings possess a need for both structure and change.  While some may find themselves predisposed to emphasize one side or the other, the reality for most is the dilemma of learning to live simultaneously with both sides of this tension.  A key part of the dialectical construct is the understanding that growth in wisdom entails “transcending polarities and appreciating paradoxical truths.”  An example drawn from scripture is Christ’s statement that saving one’s life will result in losing it.  The amazing idea resulting from embracing this paradox is that transformation takes place in the individual willing to live in both places.

To flesh out this concept Shults and Sandage draw a correlation between what they label spiritual dwelling and spiritual seeking.  In a brilliant integrative move they then write of the psychological dynamics of attachment and differentiation.  One conclusion they draw is that “Optimal spiritual maturity is characterized by a secure style of spiritual and interpersonal attachment and high levels of differentiation of self.”  In other words, walking in both sides of this dialectical tension sets up intrapersonal and interpersonal opportunities that are conducive to transformation and developmental growth.

I grew up in an either-or/right-wrong atmosphere, both in my family of origin and in my faith.  For years I struggled to get things right, to be on the "right side" in dealing with life's normal struggles.  About twelve years ago I begin to explore non-duality.  Of course, that immediately put me into the world of paradox.  The more I attempted to flesh out this concept, the more freedom I experienced.  The need to assess blame disappeared.  I also noticed a lifting of the burden of always having to be right and the resulting self-righteousness that came with it.  It's not that I no longer struggle with arrogance and judgmentalism, but a new reality is that I am more quickly aware when I do go there.  Life now feels more like an invitation and less like an examination.  Spiritual dwelling and and spiritual seeking are no longer opposites but run parallel.  There is a glorious interplay between the two.  Many years ago in Switzerland I sat at the feet of Dr. Francis Schaeffer and heard him say, "Parallel lines meet in infinity."  I think I finally agree with him.